One Third.

"At current rates, nearly one third of American women will have an abortion." That's four women in this Starbucks.

That was the final push I needed to finish chapter 1. It's about 5 pages long and desperately in need of a title and a good edit, but it's done. So much love is needed in this broken world, I pray God will use this chapter to help.

College Mail

I get it, College. I want to be with you, too. You'll just have to wait for me, Darling. Just please stop sending me so many letters.

Go Anna!

Tonight I get to see my baby sister as the Sugar Plum Fairy in the Nutcracker.

Good luck, Anner Bananer!

She's the coolest. 

Mark 2:1-12

Today I was reading in Mark about when four guys lowered their paralytic friend down through a roof so that he could meet Jesus and be healed. I've heard this story a zillion times in Sunday school with the good 'ol flannelgraph, but today it got me thinking. To what lengths would I go to get my friend to Jesus? Would I drag him on top of a roof, bore a hole into said roof, and then carefully lower him down into a crowd of people surrounding Jesus?

I wonder if those guys knew how long their determination would last. With determination, creativity, and some faith they brought their friend to Jesus and watched him be healed and his sins be forgiven. Did they think the extra trouble they went to was worth it? They certainly didn't know their stunt would be recorded in Scripture and thousands of years later people would tell their story on flannelgraph. What if people remembered our deeds, hundreds or thousands of years from now? We don't know these guys' names, just their faith and what they did for their friend. What if people knew of our deeds in history books? What if we had that faith?

Just some thoughts.

New Friends

I'm on the process of learning something crazy. Did you know there are other teenagers passionate about abortion, besides me? Yeah, my mind is blown too. And they're pretty amazing people.

God gave me two new friends who are my age and have the same passion that I do. Every time I hear from one of them I get so excited. We can get excited and talk about stuff that all of our friends would roll their eyes about. It's like when you put two nerds in the same room, suddenly they're speaking a different language. I've never had that before, and it's awesome.

And yet again, God provides us with things we could never get on our own. Becca made a friend! :)

Read the amazing blog by one of my new friends, Aubry, here.

Bricks and Sucker Punches

A Bible study leader told me a few years ago to never ask God for a brick, because He will definitely send one. When you're praying about something and trying to make a decision, asking God to make it as clear as possible (like hitting you in the head with a brick) is very effective and often very painful. The example she used was when she was trying to decide whether or not to quit her job. She prayed and asked God to hit her with a brick, then the next day she got laid off. Apparently, God did want her to quit, so the brick He sent was doing it for her. I've asked God for a couple of bricks, and boy, they're painful. If you ask God to make something clear at the expense of your own comfort, He probably will.

This is how I feel today.

The past few weeks God has been speaking to me in another way, besides bricks. After studying Proverbs 31 with my Bible study I asked God to make me into a godly woman, the woman He made me to be. I wasn't looking for a brick this time, so instead He delivered a series of sucker punches to the gut. A lot of them. After lots of long conversations Saturday night with various people about all different topics, I sensed that God is creating tension in my life to make me grow. At church Sunday morning during the main service, God gave me a huge reality check about my life. Then in youth group, every single word my youth pastor said was another punch to my gut. I left church feeling completely pathetic and helpless. I'd let my attitude, focus, and motivation for everything I do get so far off track.


This morning, I looked at the question I have to answer this week for my manifesto I'm writing for school. It was another huge punch to my gut delivered by the fist of God's sovereignty. As I care for my wounded gut, I have to write a paper about all the areas of tension and change in my life. Time to get back on track about everything. Time to focus on God. Time to invest in a shield and a helmet maybe? Maybe just listen better, so God wont have to do this again.

Somehow, just focusing on God makes moments like these so much better. Instead of feeling pathetic, I'm trying to focus on God's love for me and His incredible, overwhelming forgiveness for my stupidity. This song describes that perfectly for me.

When you want God to change you or make something obvious for you, He will. Just know that it's not super pleasant. Sometimes it's more like being hit in the head with a brick or being punched over and over again.