When the Going Gets Tough, the Simple Ability To Write Coherent Thoughts Just Abandons Me Entirely

Some people have natural born talents. Some struggle with things that come very easily to others. I, however, feel like the abilities that sometimes come so naturally from me will occasionally just stop existing.

I'm speaking in particular about my ability to write.

It's a real shame when my capability to write multiple coherent sentences in a row absolutely abandons me, say, mid-paragraph.

I'm editing chapter four about abortion history. You know, the chapter that I complain about incessantly. Because I'm not happy with any of the numerous versions of it I have written, I'm going over all of them and picking and choosing what is necessary. Sarah Weddington sued to change the abortion laws in Texas, creating the case Roe v Wade which legalized abortion in America. When I was part way through explaining Weddington's oral arguments, I wrote this:

She continued in saying that pregnancy interrupts a woman's life: areas of education, body, employment, family, and other relationships are often sacrificed because of an unplanned pregnancy. Because it so drastically effects her life, it should be her fundamental right to decide whether or not she continues her pregnancy. She keeps going on and on, but I'm sick of writing about this. Is it necessary or can I just say it sucks? 

Oh, but it gets better. Next come's Joy Floyd's oral argument after Weddington. (He was arguing for Wade, the anti-abortion position):

Floyd’s argument is feeble at best. When I first listened to the arguments I was expecting an epic battle for some reason. Really, it was just a pretty woman giving an emotional and passionate plea for “all women” (I wonder how she knew all women agreed with her points) and Floyd just flopping around not making any sense. He played ping pong with the justices arguing whether or not it’s a moot point because Roe delivered her baby already. “It’s a moot point,” “no it’s not, it’s for the good of all women,” “it’s a moot point,” “no it’s not, it’s for the good of all women,” “it’s a moot point,” “you’re stupid,” ect. After a while, he finally brings up the question of when life begins and whether or not abortion is murder. They just tell him that the beginning of life cannot be determined (see chapter two) and he gives it up. 

Ahem. Using verbs such as "flopping" and "played ping pong" is not advised when writing about a Supreme Court Case. Not to mention creating your own dialogue, inserting random parenthetical thoughts that could be considered an insult toward feminists, and this killer last paragraph:

The oral arguments of Roe v Wade are pretty surprising. Weddington gives a passionate plea for women’s rights and goes on about how a pregnancy restricts her freedoms. I can’t help but picture Floyd as an awkward teenage boy who wants to be anywhere but there. 

Ok, that's all. I just needed to humble myself.

When I Want to Burn Everything I've Ever Written

You know what I hate? Spending hours writing, then at the end of the day deciding all of what you wrote needed to be trashed. It's all worthless. It can't be used, and salvaging it would take as long as it took to write. Monkeys could have sat at a computer and typed random letters, and come up with something better than this.

It's on this kind of day I want to stand on my roof and scream for the entire world to hear,

"IT'S NOT WORTH IT!"

However, like every other day like this that I've experienced, it usually means I just need to move on. Copy and paste the 4,205 words of nonsense and an entire week of work to a file of such passages, and work on something else. I wonder if actually printing the pages and burning it would help me feel better. I bet on a good day I could think of some nice way to conclude this post with something meaningful that would make me feel better, but nothing's coming to me. So I conclude with the wise words of April Ludgate: "hard work never pays off."

Wreaking Havoc, One Misspelled Word at a Time

I just practiced my speech for tomorrow, and I realized just how frequently I mix up words like "contraception" and "conception," or "birth control" and "birth canal." I've been researching and writing about this for years, and I just now realize my book is probably filled with those mistakes? It's like a copy editor's nightmare. Oy vey.

Update: When I typed the title, I wrote "Type" instead of "time." Maybe it's just my fingers this week.

The One With Planned Parenthood and the NBA and Hitler and Some Other Stuff

Well guess what. After I thought I had finally gotten in the groove of keeping up with a blog, I fell right back out of said groove. I went to Florida for the week to go scuba diving followed by a week of spring break (meaning no school to procrastinate from, thus no motivation for blogging), then the final home stretch of senior year began when there's simply no time for procrastination. I graduate from high school in 28 days, which either means I'll hit another gold mine of blogging inspiration or you wont hear from me at all. I'm rather unpredictable. But for the moment, I chose procrastination over writing four papers and a speech.

In other news, be sure to check out my nifty little poll in the right side of the page (---> that way's right) and let me know what you think. I'm absolutely sure more consistent writing will help my blog out a bit, but for some reason I'm still incapable of that one. I'm working on it.

Also! Abortion news, cause there's been a lot. Here's the most interesting, exciting, resourceful, inspiring, and thought provoking bits of abortion news. And one completely unrelated and under-viewed Youtube video that will probably make your day. No, it will make your day.

Cecile Richards

Interesting. Time Magazine released their 2012 Top 100 Most Influential People in the World list, and again it included Planned Parenthood's CEO Cecile Richards. Of the 25 people in the list who received more negative votes than positive on Time's website, Richards' had the most negative votes by far. (45,395 for Richards' compared negative runner-up Mitt Romney with 14,003). Richards placed 84th this year and 69th last year. (Article)

Exciting. Mississippi might be the first state to become abortion-free due to new regulations for clinics. Abortion doctors are required to have hospital connections in case of emergency in the abortion surgery, something the remaining Mississippi abortion doctors do not have. Pro-choice activists are fighting this legislation, which I find very curious. Why are so-called women's rights activists fighting legislation that would save women's lives? Why not spend your time and effort protecting women from unsafe abortions?

Resourceful. In honor of Hitler's birthday yesterday, go watch this thought provoking 30-minute movie.

JaVale McGee 

Inspiring. Anyone remember the connection between Tim Tebow and abortion? His mother's doctor recommended an abortion during her high-risk pregnancy, but she refused. Thanks to her brave decision, one of the most popular NFL players is still alive and well today. A similar story came out about NBA's JaVale McGee. His mother was scheduled to have him aborted, but after she suddenly began to reconsider and an answered prayer from God, she canceled her appointment. Now he's playing for the NBA and rocking a sweet name with four capitalized letters, of which I am a bit jealous. (Read article here).

Thought Provoking. And finally, Planned Parenthood decided to follow along in the footsteps of the widely successful 40 Day's for Life campaign by creating 40 Days for Prayer for Abortion. The reactions regarding this have been very interesting. Is this religious freedom? Is it sacrilege? Is it mocking 40 Days for Life? Is Planned Parenthood intimidated by the Christian group? Should we be outraged? I would say this should encourage us to pray for those in the pro-abortion movement who view themselves as Christians. Pray that God will work on their hearts and open their eyes. (Here's the article).

Completely Unrelated. And finally, to leave you with a good laugh. This is really old and really, really under appreciated. "I patrol the whole Canadian border from Washington State to Maine...State." Enjoy.

Breaking Things in Unconventional Ways

There are those people in your life who are always are getting hurt, or the ones who are super good at everything, or the ones who make a mean grilled cheese sandwich. I, however, am none of those people. I'm instead finding my own way: the kid who breaks things in unconventional ways.

It all started a few years ago when I was making something on the stove. I don't remember what, but whatever it was it boiled over and got the inside of the gas burner wet. It proceeded to make this obnoxious ticking noise for the rest of the day, so my very wise parents advised me to leave the burner on low until the moisture dried out.

Not ten minutes later, I smelled something odd and looked over to see much larger flames than that gas stove is capable of. After a split second of panic followed by another split second of confusion, I ran over to see what was going on. An odd shaped plastic thing was sitting directly on top of the burner in flames. I, being the brilliant young woman that I am, turned off the burner and somehow got the plastic thing to stop being on fire. Upon further inspection, I discovered the now pretty well melted plastic piece was the button you press to open the microwave. Evidently the heat from the burner being left on had melted the button on the microwave, which was mounted over the stove, enough for it to fall out and catch on fire.

Essentially, I melted the microwave.

To this day we've never fixed that button. We just use those thermometer covers to shove into the hole the button used to attach onto in order to open the microwave. It's still amusing when people come over and try to use our microwave but don't know about the cup full of thermometer covers on our counter. And it's embarrassing when I'm using someone else's microwave and I catch myself searching their countertops for thermometers.

The melting the microwave incident was a few years ago. The saga of Becca Breaking Things In Unconventional ways continued a few nights ago.

I was unloading the dishwasher, like my mother had told me, with a friend of mine. I was turning to put something in a cabinet and accidentally knocked over the jar of olive oil sitting next to stove. We were already making a ton of noise (but trying really hard not to), so when I didn't break I thought it was nothing. I stood the jar back up and continued putting things away. However, we both noticed a weird crackling noise coming from the stove. I looked closer at the stove and noticed a long crack in the glass. It was spreading. It was growing. It was cracking. And there was absolutely nothing we could do.

Well, I did say, "JONATHAN LOOK AT THAT!" followed by a quick and slightly panicked, "WHAT DO WE DO?!" and confused looks and astonishment and that sick feeling in your stomach after you break something expensive of your mothers.

Looks like the olive oil won this time.

We took everything off the stove because it was already beginning to sag and would probably cave in soon. Then came the heroic moment I'm most proud of: I remembered to unplug the stove! After the house fire incident of 2011 in which I alone saved the day by calling 911 (well, firemen also helped save the day), I knew that something bad might happen if the stove broke and there was electricity still running through that thing. Then I woke up my parents and they slightly freaked out. Being awakened by the panicked voice of your daughter saying, "Mom! Dad! You're needed downstairs! I knocked over the olive oil and it hit the stove and it broke! The olive oil is fine, the stove broke!" I'm sure is pretty stressful. They came down and my dad remembered to unplug the gas too (come on, I did my best) and they looked at how cool the cracks were then they went to bed. Then Jonathan and I finished the dishes and he left and I went to bed.

Then after sleeping for a little while I heard it start raining really hard, so I got out of bed to close my window. In the half asleep trek across my floor I stepped on a needle and it bent and I couldn't get it out of my foot so I had to wake my mom up again in a pain-stricken panic. It was traumatic. I was curled up in the fetal position on my bed whimpering and holding my bloody foot while my mom was standing in my door holding the needle she just pulled from my foot looking confused, because, after all, she had just woken up from a deep sleep for the second time in an hour. After a few seconds of this, I yelled, "Just throw it away!" She did, then walked back down the hall. Halfway there she decided she needed to mother me, so she came back and patted me on the head and mumbled something along the lines of, "it'll be okay" and left me to care for my wounds alone.

I never did close my window.

This habit can get pricey really fast, so I hope I stop breaking things. Or at least I hope my parents will still love me and continue to tell themselves, "at least it's funny."

Grammar Matters, People

When people type like THIS and like this it makes me feel as though I am being PUNCHED REPEATEDLY in ThE fAcE!

Seriously.

What Writing Really Looks Like (or "Patheticness Embodied")

I was first introduced to the topic of abortion January of 2009 when I wrote a research paper on Margaret Sanger. In August of the same year I decided to write a book and began researching, then a few months later I actually began outlining. Ever since, "the book" has been weighing on my mind, causing me to carrying around notebooks for keeping ideas and lists of things to do and outlines, and making me spend all of my breaks from school writing in my room. When I talk to people about my writing, I would love for them to imagine me sitting in Starbucks, drinking a latte, wearing thick-rimmed glasses and with a thoughtful expression on my face. While I do go to Starbucks to write sometimes, I generally don't order lattes and I never look that cool. Most of the time when I write I'm at home, in my bedroom, alone, and looking pathetic. I wish the whole ordeal would look something like this:

Hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com 

Occasionally this is fairly accurate, but generally if I'm awake at 3:17 AM it's because I'm doing homework, and I can guarantee I never have that facial expression at that time or while doing homework. What's more, my posture while writing is far poorer than this picture depicts. Over the past year I've developed the habit of writing while sitting on my floor, ever since the pad on my desk chair fell off making it incredible uncomfortable. And when I say "sitting on my floor," I really mean curled up in a pathetic little ball of sweat pants and hoodie, under an electric blanket which is tangled with my computer cord, drinking my 3rd of 4th cup of coffee for the day, and forcing myself to remain still due to the caffeine and list of other things I'd rather be doing. There's usually a space heater, mismatching socks, a crooked braid in my hair, and two or three white boards with outlines and lists of facts involved. This has become a regular event for me, and it generally lasts 20 minutes-4 hours a day, depending on how much I don't want to be doing homework. Then once I begin homework, it, too, quickly spirals from me sitting in my armchair doing homework to slumped over in the same puddle of patheticness on my floor.

The only hope for me not becoming a hunch back by the time I'm 25 is either finishing this book in the next three days or fixing my desk chair. It's not looking too good.

Well there you have it. A mental image of me writing. I just wanted to clear that up for you in case you were picturing it all wrong.

Super Duper

While this blog may look like proof that I'm the most un-diligent person ever, I'm just so busy being diligent at everything else that I don't have time for blogging. That makes sense, right?

I have many things I could turn into entire posts, but I really don't feel like taking the time to write all of that, so I'll fall back to a super condensed combo-post with way too many unrelated things all mushed together. Cause that's what all the best bloggers do... I bet...

This post will mainly consist of things that I'm learning, in no particular order. I'm learning a super duper lot lately, and it's been amazing. Also, I should stop saying "super duper," because it makes me sound super duper unintelligent.

God is teaching me to let Him be strong in my weaknesses. I'm working on some very dark chapters right now, and it makes me feel so helpless against this evil. Abortion is huge and so devastating, I long to do something to end it. God has told me to do something, but it feels so small against everything working against me. What's more, I don't even feel like I'm capable of doing what He has given me to do. But, He is strong in my weakness. A friend pointed out to me that He wouldn't give me something to do that I can't, and I need to be weak so that He can be strong.

I love making London Fog Lattes, and I think when this blog post is done I will make one. (8 ounces extra strong earl gray tea, 6 ounces steamed milk, vanilla syrup to taste. Vanilla syrup is two parts sugar, one part water, and vanilla extract. You can thank me later.)

Also, God is so faithful, and He has my future in His hands. There are so many unknowns, but still my future looks bright and beautiful because He is already there. Also college. It's gonna happen.

Mumford and Sons' unreleased songs on Youtube are the best.

On the cross, God took my sin upon Him and gave me His righteousness. While I am not yet righteous and still sin, He sees me as already righteous. I have the capability of not sinning because of this. I am living in the already-but-not-yet. I love this so much.

Salutations,
Becca

A Post About Posting Habits (and other things)

Once upon a time I posted something and said I would be consistent about posting, then I got really busy with finals and college applications and stuff. When I finally finished the semester and had three weeks off of school, I had no reason to procrastinate and thus, no reason to blog. Here I am yet again, the first Tuesday of my last semester of highschool, and I'm blogging again. Break ways amazing, but good news, world! The sleep deprived, caffeinated, blogging Becca is back!

(Another reason I stopped posting is that I decided I didn't want to post anything that wasn't super interesting and worth your time. Then I got shy and insecure and wondered why anything I had to say is worth your time. Then I got lazy. The latter is probably the most significant factor for my absence, however.)

I had some really good ideas for a blog post today, but I forgot them. Anyway. I have a ton of homework coming up, so stay tuned.

Plus also. It is my goal this semester (besides survive, finish highschool with decent grades, avoid senioritis as long as possible, get into college, make big decisions for my future, and learn some new songs on the ukulele) is to write for a minimum of 30 minutes everyday. Now, to be totally honest, I'm lacking motivation and excitement for writing these days (something you could pray for me about), but despite all of that I was able to write for about an hour today! If this is going to work in the long run, though, I need people bugging me about it to keep me accountable. My personal goals always fail because it's so easy for me to forget them. So bug me!

I think that's all I have so say for now. I'm sure after I post this, the floodgates will open and I'll have a million ideas. In the meantime, though, I must read my economics text and ponder philosophical things. (That makes "homework" sound so much more interesting and intelligent, am I right?)

Oh yeah, and Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and Happy freaking Holidays, everybody! I didn't get to write a nice, long post all about thankfulness and Jesus and nostalgia, but I'll probably find myself doing that in the middle of the night a few times this semester regardless of holidays when we're supposed to do it. So get excited. ;) Happy second semester, everybody!

Happy 40th Post To Me

It's been a really long time since I've actually had a decent blog post, hasn't it. I have a few ideas for posts, but instead of writing them now the diligent thing would be to study for my modernity test and write my research paper. However, here is a brief, unorganized, and slightly ramble-y list of things that are happening:

• Two more weeks until this semester ends and Christmas break starts. Thus: crunch time. Thus: not much blogging or writing or ukulele other happy things. 
• College applications are happening, slowly but surely. 
• I finished a draft of chapter 1, the first draft that I'm actually pleased with. I've now rewritten this chapter 3 times, so here's hoping this one's it! 
• I will soon be letting other people read a few select chapters to get their input and edit, which is super scary. I've only let one person read anything in the book before and I made them swear to not judge me or read certain chapters. 
• I'm becoming really good at being sleep deprived. I've actually found that with 2 hours of sleep and a little more coffee than usual, I'm happier than I am when I'm well rested. Granted, I'm certainly not smarter in that state of mind. 
• Tonight I'm going to a Behold the Lamb of God concert. If you've never heard Andrew Peterson's Christmas album by that name, you should change that. I'm not a fan of Christmas music, actually, at all, but this concert and this album is my favorite part about Christmas every year. 
• I've realized why I hate Christmas music. It's too happy. Now, I'm a very happy person almost all of the time, but Christmas music just annoys me so much. I love honest music with honest lyrics, so singing historically inaccurate songs about Christmas that pretend like everything in the world is wonderful for one day a year just make me want to punch something. (There weren't 3 wise men. The wise men didn't come until Jesus was 2 or 3. Jesus more than likely cried as a baby. And no, my grandmother did not get run over by a reindeer. Gah.) Okay, I feel better. End rant. 
• I was super excited that I had over 1000 page views in all sorts of countries, until I learned that most of them are probably spam. Dang it. I should have realized that when it looked like I had such a following in countries that don't speak English, ha. 

Remember when I said I had a modernity test and a research paper? I should probably go do that now, I guess. If you actually read all of those bullet points props to you. Even if you didn't, I hope you have a wonderful day! 

Abortion History Jeopardy (because we both know you always wanted to know this)

This was originally posted in June of 2011 using tumblr. 

This week I’m working on a chapter about the history of abortion and how it became legalized in the United States. And ohhh boy. I have two books that are over 1200 pages long, and countless other books and articles that I’m trying to make heads or tails out of. I’m not very bright when it comes to law, so this has definitely been the most exhausting and excruciating chapter thus far. 

HOWEVER. I’ve found a way to make it interesting. 

There are some remarkable, crazy facts in the history of abortion. So I’ve been keeping track of them, you know, to whip out at that perfect time in conversation. Here’s a few of my favorites: 

• Margaret Sanger (the founder of Planned Parenthood), her first husband, William Sanger, was an architect who helped design Grand Central Station. He was also a Communist and Socialist. 
• Margaret Sanger got started politically when she heard the propagandist for the Bolshevik party (I forget his name) speak, then she became a Marxist. 
• Numerous cases (I could think of around 5) about birth control and abortion that lead up to Roe v. Wade all rhymed with Roe, including the companion case, Doe v. Bolton. 
• The case that legalized abortion, Roe v. Wade, happened when a woman named Jane Roe and her attorney Sarah Weddington sued the state of Texas for an abortion. Although Sarah Weddington had an illegal abortion a few years prior to the case and ran an abortion referral organization, she never helped Roe get an abortion. Roe put her child up for adoption and has never had an abortion. 
• The idea for Roe v. Wade began at a garage sale. 
• Sarah Weddington’s first case was Roe v. Wade. 
• Quite a few years after the case, Jane Roe (or her real name, Norma McCorvey) worked in an abortion clinic until a pro-life crisis pregnancy center moved in next door. Because of their love and kindness to her, she converted to Christianity and became pro-life. 
• Jane Roe/Norma McCorvey was almost aborted. 
• The companion case, Doe v. Bolton, was about the alleged Mary Doe suing for an abortion because she had health problems keeping her from using birth control. The real Mary Doe, Sandra Cano-Bensing, never wanted an abortion. She thought she was signing papers to get her children back in her custody. When her attorney made an appointment for an abortion for her, she left the state to protect her unborn child. 

See? I knew you always wanted to know that. You’re welcome, world. 

(If you’re interested about citations, ha, because I’m sure you’re as cool as me and are, email me: beccafrenchauthor@gmail.com)